This is my last blog posting. I have thought a lot about the way I could sum up my experiences living in England and working at Charis House. I decided, however, to simply share one last story with you.

This past week I walked to one of my favorite places here, a hill that over looks Buxton. The path leading to the top is through a beautifully green forest and while I was turned looking at something, I ran straight into this dangling leaf. I took a picture of it, because I was probably trying to be artsy or something, but it was an image that has stayed with me.
I have really been trying hard to continue to find beauty in each of the women staying at the House currently. I can feel, though, the effects of very tired emotions and the tendency to expect the fallback of some who I have seen regress so often this year. Which is why I have liked thinking about this leaf. You'll have to bear with me for a bit as I try to write down what I see so clearly connect in my head. Because I have taken the stories of each women into my heart, I feel their pains and the cycle that they feel is unmanageable. I see the effects of having very little self esteem and turning to alcohol, drugs, or men for instant satisfaction. I see them dangling. And I see myself dangling with them. BUT I have learned to see God still holding on to EACH of us. I see God not willing to let these beautifully blessed women go. Unlike this picture, no amount of wind, rain, abusive men, or family breakdowns can break God's love.

While working an evening duty recently, I found myself in the midst of yet another argument. Two residents began shouting and threatening each other while I stood in the middle. As one began to chase the other up the stairs, another new volunteer that had surfaced because of the noise shouted up towards me,

"Who is in charge?"

Who's in charge?! Well, me. Me? Really, it was me? I was the one that was supposed to break up these two emotionally charge young women who were frantically running about screaming. After saying a quick prayer, I managed to sort the two out without physical injury. Afterwards, I took a deep breathe and realized how much I have learned this past year. I have not only learned better methods for handling similar situations, but also the necessity of prayer and turning instantly to God. At the beginning of the year, I found it really difficult to be at peace with the fact that I was getting closer to God while in the midst of many women who lived in denial of God. I can live to the best of my ability in trying to live the love of God to the residents, but at the end of the day it is a relationship between them and God. It is for that relationship to grow that I have found myself praying for constantly and it is the peace of praying that can give me peace.

I am so blessed I have been able to hang on with these women. And hang out we have quite literally done. Whether over meals, cups of tea, or outside on the lawn. Their stories have helped me to see a simple picture of God's love and to keep trying to show this love in my daily life. I have put a short slide show of pictures I feel summarize my year here. The link is just on the right hand side of my blog.

A thank you hug to each of you who have read a blog or sent an email to me this past year. I look forward to giving you a real hug soon and hearing about your adventures while I have been away.

Peace,
Aubrey

New Bags and Skittles

I wrote most of this blog update in my head while trimming the hedge in front of Charis House last Sunday afternoon. It was one of the first days we have had this spring where the sky was blue and the french doors that open in the House living room were wide open. Residents were walking in and out, taking turns making pots of tea for us all and sitting on the bench in the front garden. Little 3 year old resident Abbye, was diligently removing individual toys from the living room, bringing them outside with us, playing for an average of 1-2 minutes and then dragging them back just inside the french doors, where quite the pile was accumulating. Old resident, Trudi, and her daughter, Christina, had called around for a cup of tea and were sharing stories of recent events that invoked big fits of laughter with the some of the other residents. The residents soon dwindled from sitting about in the front garden, and just as I was about to head back inside I found a good crew of them walking out the House doors, each of them proudly displaying a brand new, beautifully colored bag.

The week before I had received a package that filled my heart with complete joy. A women's group at St. Davids Lutheran, my church from home, had taken on the project of bag making. They started this project before I began my time in England, but they very generously incorporated the selling of the bags to raise support for my time here. There were some bags left, and a women from the group, Dina, mailed a HUGE box filled with all sorts of bags right to my house here in Buxton! They came with instructions to give them out at Charis House, but to make sure to share a hug as well : )

I had given the bags out on this particular Sunday right after lunch. The women LOVED them. I brought them in all on my arm, put them on the dinning room table and said these are for you. It was a perfect opportunity to share that they had come from people who didn't know them, people who had spent time and effort and money into creating, but then offered them as a gift to women over the ocean. For many that come to the House, they are forced to leave most possessions in the life they have left behind. I've noticed that gifts, no matter how small they seem, can be really appreciated. The women tried on different bags, admired, and then tried on another. Then came the hug fest. It is funny, because hugging is not something the English do very often, especially at a refuge like Charis House. For most all the women, I asked first, but then was meet with huge smiles and big hugs. It was an opportunity to share, not only the love I have for each of them as people, but also the love sent from women oceans apart for each of them as children of God. I am so blessed to have been the hug deliverer.

I have to dedicate a whole paragraph to the skittles. Inside each bag was a small Bible, a packet of Wild Berry Skittles, and some chewing gum. For some reason the skittles became the topic of conversation for a significant amount of time. We sat around as residents Louise and Carissa discussed the packaging, the flavors, and then read the back of the packages. They were so excited that they had traveled all the way from America! Louise exclaimed, after reading the back, "Aubrey! These were made in New Jersey!!!" The skittles were a success.

That Sunday night we had dinner together. And when I looked around the room, I almost cried. There were bags everywhere. Bags that had been used for a late afternoon picnic with the children. Bags that had been used for shopping trips to the local stores. Bags that had been used to carry baby nappies, bags that hung on the back of pushchairs, and bags that the children had filled with Charis House toys and were carefully dragging around the room. The whole day felt like a beautiful picture being painted by God. It was a Sunday. Although I was unable to attend church, I did spend it praising God and thanking Him for creating both people who need a bag and a hug, and for people who are so willing to make bags and send hugs.

Gods Peace to each you this June. Sending you a hug from me with a smile and encouragement to eat some Wild Berry Skittles and continue your prayers of thanksgiving for bag and skittle moments at Charis House!

Aubrey

The Volunteer Family

My living arrangements this year have not been what I imagined when YAGM told me I would be living with a family. I will admit that I first pictured family meals and small children in a cozy house. What I have been blessed with is Mic, Sue, and a family filled with other volunteers.

Mic and Sue are two amazingly wonderful people who open their house to ANY, and I mean ANYONE, who needs a place to stay for a bit. For both my visitors from home, my sister Stacie and Matt, Sue has welcomed them to come back any time. And she means it! Sue is one of the Coordinators for the Recovery Support team at Charis House. Mic is a Physics teacher at the local Community School while also leading the Buxton Community Church, where many old residents of Charis House attend. It makes life between Charis House, church, and home very interconnected. This is something I am not used too, but have come to really value and appreciate...at times : )

I live in Mic and Sue's house with several other Charis House volunteers. Jessica is from Germany, Robert is from Hungary, and Tammy is a volunteer turned employee from Canada. Included in the Volunteer family is Cida, another Charis House volunteer from Brazil, who lives with House Manager, Hazel. We come from very different parts of the world. In conversations, English is the only language we sort of have in common. Jessica's English is now probably better than mine. However, Robert and Cida conversations usually involve lots of smiles, nods, and charades.
The volunteer family has had lots of adventures together. We've been able to do some traveling, including Roberts first experience at the beach! We've had long walks and picnics, but one of the most treasured times for me has been the Monday night meals we've shared together. We have each cooked a traditional dish from the area of the world we come from. Before each meal shared, we have taken turns saying a blessing, in the native language of each of us. It makes me smile even now, as I think back to the table in Mic and Sue's dining room, and remember sitting, holding hands, and listening to a prayer of thanks said to the GOD we have in common.

Last week, Cida turned up at our door with a backpack and ideas of a "picnic." Robert and I put on our shoes and set off for what I thought would be a nice sit in the sun at the park. However, this was one of those times the language barrier was a bit of a problem. We followed Cida for quite the hike as we journeyed to the top of a very windy hill! I did not bring the appropriate footwear/outerwear. However, Cida did bring a picnic. We hiked to a place called Corbar Cross. It is a large cross positioned on a hill that overlooks Buxton. The three of us sat, eating cheese sandwiches, not talking but just being, underneath the cross. It was a meal shared with people I see God in so so much everyday and have come to love. It reminded me of the community that is so big all across the world that shares in God's love each and everyday.

I have been blessed and I am reminded of that everyday at Charis House. Family is difficult to just create. One of my observations is that the ones who embrace the family concept of the House are the ones who really begin to flourish. My prayers continue to include those who tend to push away the idea of a Charis House family. The ones who still tend to dwell within theirselves. I ask that you include some of these, Jane and Julie and Sarah, in your prayers.

Blessings to each of you and your families! I will soon be reunited with mine and that thought is exciting to me!

Aubrey

On this Holy Week two long-time residents have been preparing to move out of the House. While it is sad for me to think about Charis House without these two residents and their beautiful children, it is a perfectly timed Easter reminder of the opportunity of a fresh start each of us has been given.

Melissa has lived at the House ever since I first arrived. She is around my age and has an adorably chubby little boy named Jacum. Over the course of working a few Friday nights, I have encountered situations with Melissa that will stick out in my memories of the place. Not all those memories are positive, but each has a place in making her journey even more amazing.

Just before Christmas I witnessed Melissa hit an all time low after returning to the House overdosed, confused, and with Jacum. I looked after the baby as we waited for Jacum to be collected by his rarely seen father. As Jacum left and Melissa was sent to the hospital, I stood with the other Staff member and we both just wanted to sit and cry. Her story had seemed to be going well.

While that story seems sad, after I reflect back I'm able to see God's hand in so many parts. For Melissa to get Jacum back, she gave up alcohol. After that night, she made a decision to not drink, and she's done it. For almost four months she's been completely clean and while she wouldn't admit it yet, I've seen a much happier Melissa. While she is excitedly decorating her new flat, we have also had a lot of talks about her fear of moving away from a place that offers so much support to each woman. I know it is a good move for her, and I pray that the support she's received at the House has helped to empower her and allow her to embrace a fresh life and new opportunities.

The other women to move on is named Trudi. Trudi has a five-year old daughter named Christina. Their story is one of domestic abuse and constantly running. I won't share her past because it's the way in which she's so quickly re-adjusted and positively added to the House dynamics that makes her such a special person. Trudi tells it like it is. I have personally learned from her ability to be open and honest in most all situations. She has been the resident to initiate Sunday dinners each week, to start dance parties on a Saturday night, and to help the children make cakes after school. I have loved her enthusiasm and the way she has been able to use her story to help many of the women at the House who need direct advice from one so close to many similar situations.

Christina has been a wonderful experience for me too. She came in as a five year old who talked as if she was thirty. Because she had never interacted with other children, her behavior has been amazing to watch as she's begun to just play and imagine.

As I listen to both of these women share details of their new houses with smiles and excitement, I have seen the ultimate dream of Hazel as she she opened the doors to Charis House. To allow women an opportunity to just come and live with a family that supports and tries their hardest to love. For these women to build up the confidence to know that they are a beloved child of God who is capable of living a life of meaning and happiness. I know that Trudi and Melissa will leave still doubting a God, but I also know that I see Him when I look into their excited smiles and I know that He will follow them as they hopefully began anew.

Wishing each of you a blessed Easter season,
Aubrey

A bit of History...

Hazel is a women who I work with every Thursday afternoon. She is the founder of Charis House and someone I've grown to admire deeply. While working with her I often get frustrated that she lives in a world without schedules. There is no time other than the present and her office upkeep is a reflection of this. My very first task with Hazel was to "organise and manage" her file cabinet. It was a tedious job to say the least, and after I'd finished I just wanted to sit and have a chocolate. Instead, I was offered a cup of tea and an opportunity to learn a bit more about Hazel and how she'd come to be living a life filled with a daily ministry to a group of women often marginalized and sent away by many other organizations.

It wasn't until I traveled with Hazel to a church's Tearfund supporter meeting that I learned the complete history of Charis House. Hazel tells a wonderfully entertaining story about how she had been making a birthday cake for one of her children when a women appeared at her doorstep. Abused, hurt, and living in a generally empty lifestyle this women needed a home. Hazel called her church. Her church had no answers or solutions. Hazel was frustrated with this answer and began complaining as to the lack of the church's help in situations that seem so obviously in need of a sharing of God's love.

I really like how Hazel describes this story and I won't really be able to do it accurately, but she says that it was because of the birthday cake that Charis House began. When Hazel was little, her mom made a big fuss over birthday cakes and Hazel always had a beautifully decorated and tasty cake on her special day. Hazel admits she is less skilled at cake making than her mother, but she's always tried to do the same for her children. The homeless women at Hazel's door said to her, "I've never had a birthday cake." Hazel says it was at this moment that she stopped complaining about the church and realized, she was the church. She opened her home and Charis House began.

Currently Hazel and her family live in a flat in Charis House. This means that while most other staff go home at the end of the day, Hazel is always there. There is an amount of privacy, but Hazel lives her life alongside the women at the refuge. On special occasions, Hazel and her family share it with the women living at the House at the time. On Christmas, we all shared a meal together. Every Sunday evening Hazel and her husband join any willing residents to a time of fellowship and prayer in the Dining Room.

It's because of Hazel's willingness to live in the moment that she is able to just flow along in the situations she's faced with daily. The women I have meet so far are all wonderful individuals filled with a desire to do what they see will help them to survive. Hazel has created a home for women who often enter the house with hostility towards a world that they feel they've never belonged in. During my short time here, I've learned that Hazel has a lot, a LOT of patience towards each of these women. She is able to look at each one as an individual and not just another teenage mom or alcoholic.

I ask for your prayers for Hazel and for all the women living at the House now. Currently the House is filled with a group of women that I truly admire. There is a single mom, just recently escaping the abuse of an ex-husband. A young, gypsy traveler and her daughter, rejected by her family and learning how to live in one area for more than a month at a time. A wonderfully talented mother of four who daily fights a battle with alcohol and its temptation to escape to it yet again. A women running from an old, abusive partner where she spent the entire first four years of her daughters life camping in tents all over the UK. I ask for prayers for each of these women, who despite having these past experiences are able to live together at Charis House and have Saturdays where we all sit together and laugh over a dinner.

God's Peace over these last few cold months of winter.
With love from Buxton : ) Aubrey

Charis House Christmas

CHRISTMAS!!! The Christmas season puts so many people in such jolly moods! There was tree decorating and multiple school nativity plays Charis House children were in. It was interesting to be a part of a charity during Christmas. People are so generous and the community surrounding Charis House gave so much to the women and children in donations both financially and with really nice Christmas gifts.

Christmas Eve was a night filled with reunions. Many old residents come back to the house on Christmas eve to share in a meal, exchange cards, participate in a Christingle service, and even see St. Nick. The Christingle service was lead by one of the staff and aimed at all the children that were there. It is a tradition to place a candle in an orange and tie a red ribbon around the orange. The children then used tooth picks to put the fruits of the spirit on (in gummy form) and stick them
around the candle in the orange. The orange represents the earth and the candle is the light Jesus brings to us. I'll have to say I was a bit nervous trying to help around 15 small children light candles whose bases where not flat and also had toothpicks poking out from all directions. But, there no one was injured and the House didn't burn down. With the lights turned out and only the candles lit, Charis House children, new and old residents, and staff joined in singing "This Little Light of Mine" and it was simply beautiful.

The peacefulness did not last long because shortly after, Father Christmas came with presents for all. I had spent a good bit of time in weeks before sorting various Christmas donations and then wrapping them. This was a very jolly job and wonderful to watch as Father Christmas handed out all the gifts to wide-eyed children (and adults).

Christmas Day was a slightly more stressful event. I really enjoyed being at the House for Christmas, but it was much different than the usual family-filled and comfortable Christmases I am used to. One staff member was cooking the Christmas dinner for about 20 people. That's a LOT of roast potatoes and turkey! The decorations looked beautiful and sitting down with people of all sorts brought together for one dinner added even more color. For me, its hard to imagine a family not sitting for a meal at Christmas, but for the resident and her son sitting across from me, it was their first true Christmas dinner. It was a delightful time, but it was work. The house is filled with a lot of women that have a lot of needs, especially over holidays where there is emphasis on family or even for some, a heightened temptation to drink. There was the usual Charis House craziness in preparation, but also as usual, God just put things in place and we all were able to sit and talk and laugh for an afternoon. The menu was delicious and fancy! We had a starter a main meal, AND Christmas pudding.

So much energy is brought to the house when old residents come back. They share such stories and many of them are very thankful for the time they spent here. Among the old residents was Sioma and Jurmriah. Jurmriah has grown so big! Sioma is doing very well and is now living on her own. It's wonderful to see God give a family to those whose feel they need one. For one whose own family is a bit far away this year, spending the Christmas season among those who feel that Charis House is their only family was a memorable and pleasant time.